Wednesday, May 7, 2008

Halfway Through Taxol

Last week I had my 6th infusion of the drug Taxol, so I am now halfway through this portion of my treatment. I'm going in for Number Seven today, in an hour, in fact.

When he learned of my condition, one of my ancillary health care providers seemed fascinated that I had "chosen" chemotherapy. It's the only thing they got for me, I replied.

Well, yes, in the Western medicine world, it is, anyway, he replied.

I would like to point out that in his realm of health care, there is no vaunted, alternative way of doing what he does. No herbs, meditation, fasting, colonics, organic raw foods, or wishful thinking. He can only do what he does with his hands, and there is no better training for his profession than in the Western world.

So having to defend my "choice" seemed pretty messed up to me. Being made to feel like a sucker for getting chemotherapy seemed pretty messed up to me. I am now very curious about others' emotional investment in whether — and to what degree — I have "bought into" Western medicine means for them.


Kat said...

Eh, fuck them all. Consider childbirth and parenting, for example. We all make different choices, just like we all married different people and prefer different cocktails and wall colors and candidates for president.

There's always going to be someone who disagrees with us and vice versa. Some have the grace and maturity to be sensitive and compassionate and display the tolerance we admire. Some are judgemental dicks (even if they don't realize it).

The key is pulling ourselves up tall and (for want of a better phrase) owning our choices. And maybe when we're up to it, being confident enough to say, "Wow, obviously, we have different opinions about this. I know that if you were in my shoes, you'd appreciate me being respectful about your choice. Because until you're there, you honestly can't say what you would do."

(Wow, can you tell I'm pissed?) :>

Roseana Auten said...

Yes! It's annoying. Wait til I tell you what's really behind this.