That's what my brother says almost every time he takes me for chemo. That, and, "This is bullshit," are his two favorite comments. We were waiting for Dr. Popular to see me before my Taxol infusion yesterday. There is nothing so sobering or grown up than this experience. You think buying a car, or a house, makes you a grown-up. No. Making decisions like these makes you grow up.
The doctor let me know my white counts, while not dangerous, are getting lower every time I get Taxol. Now I have to go twice a week for a shot of Neupogen, so the white count doesn't drop so low that I am not well enough to get chemo. Now that's three times a week I must go to the Cancer Volcano and look in, dammit.
You know that expression, "Dum-dum-dum 'on steroids?'" Now I know what that is like. On steroids. It is crazy. It is hateful.
I forgot to mention for the last three treatments I was on just 2 mg of Decadron, as opposed to 20 mg during infusion, plus the massive oral doses I was taking. This has made a big difference, although I still don't sleep well for several days after infusion. By Monday, I am at my nadir and have experienced a big crash. My hip joints are a little sore, and I think this must be due to my white blood cells attempting to fight against the toxin currently streaming through me.